Thursday, December 30, 2004

THE 64 OUNCE SODA

oh 64 oz soda
of frosty greatness
only in america
famous for her largeness

diet i must drink you
so as not to get so fat
afterwards the bathroom
several times I'm at

too big for a cupholder
you make my fingers freeze
if i don't drive with you in one hand
i have to hold you with my knees

a massive amount of liquid
the afternoon you last me
the best thing about you
is my coupon made you FREE

He's Back

Yahoo! News - KenJen Back Again: "'Based on the rules he was allowed to play under, he certainly has to rank as the most amazing player of all time."

Thought for the day

Have you ever wondered how many calories are in phlegm?

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Boyz2Men

It seems that some things don't change too much as we age. The other day at lunch with my coworkers, one of them, who I believe is 26 or 27, accepted a bet that he could eat five baskets of (unlimited) fries at Red Robin. Three of us at the table took him up on it, and he failed during basket three, fortunately realizing that he wasn't going to make it before he ate enough to make him sick. I've been pondering what would have happened if the bet had only been four baskets, would he have really pushed to do it?

Later that same day, we went to the mall with 2 other couples from our small group. We were in Pottery Barn, where they had a display table set up which included some cookies. I quickly determined that the cookies were real, and dared one of our friends to eat one. He accepts (of course), but as he reaches in the container, one of the Pottery Barn workers steps over and asks him not to take the cookies. She also comments as to how nobody knows how old the cookies actually are, but that they had already had to replace their supply of cookies. Which leads one to wonder if the others had disappeared on similar dares, or just because people were hungry and thought they looked good?! Either way, I think these two instances just show that sometimes things don't change much from the "double-dog dare" days of The Christmas Story, as least for guys.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Trip stuff

I am definitely not a fan of the midnight flights. It is just impossible for me to get comfortable enough to sleep on a plane. Jetblue itself was nice - they had good service and having DirecTV to watch was definitely a great timekiller, except there was not much on at 3 AM on a Saturday night/Sunday morning - how many times can you watch the same clips on ESPN?.

Anyway, when we arrived in D.C. we almost immediately went to sleep for 4 hours. But wait! I get ahead of myself. I forgot to mention my wife's escapades at the security checkpoint in Sacramento. Apparently someone didn't get the memo that you aren't allowed to carry scissors onto a plane anymore, so she seemingly brought every pair in our house, which resulted in us spending a fair amount of time with the security people. Let's just say they aren't too busy around midnight, and have plenty of time to check out every possible thing in your stuff! I even had to open my bag for a pair of fake plastic scissors that I had in my backpack for my nephews. My wife is reading this over my shoulder as I type it and disputing things, so hopefully she will comment on my blog if she thinks something is wrong. I guess that's what it takes to get her to comment on here!

Enough typing for now, I will give more updates on our trip progress soon.

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Follies

The lab we are attached to here in Roseville had a big Christmas follies celebration on Thursday. This consists of pretty decent food and different workgroups putting together skits and whatnot that make fun of coworkers, management, bureaucracy, etc. We did a Jeopardy knock-off with funny questions and answers related to the above topics, which was quite well-received. Good times. I was originally supposed to be in a class Wed-Fri, but I realized I had a lot of work that I needed to get done, so I backed out of the class. However, that meant I now had to participate in the Follies stuff, so I didn't get quite as much done as I had hoped. Most of the skit stuff was managed by myself and the infamous Mr. Weaver. But, it was fun, so not too much of a loss. And I did get some pretty good work done in the amount of time I did have.

Ok, off to eat dinner now, and then tonight we take the redeye midnight flight on JetBlue out to Washington, D.C. to visit my sister. So, blogging may be slow or extremely prolific while I'm out there. Check back and see.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Follow the money

A couple of interesting sites:
www.choosetheblue.com
www.buyblue.org

As you might guess from the names, they are attempting to give you info so that you will buy from more "blue" companies. Of course, nothing stops you from using the info in the opposite direction. Unfortunately, HP is pretty heavily blue in its contributions. According to choosetheblue, 61% of its total contributions by company PACs and employees went to blue groups. Kind of surprising, because Carly is a big Bush supporter, so I would think most of the PAC money would have gone Repub. I blame employees in the Bay Area. What can't you blame on that hellhole?

Dilbert's a what?

Nobody else probably finds this interesting, but what can I say? The idea of discerning someone's political philosophy via their comic strip intrigues me. Especially that of someone like Scott Adams whose comic strip I enjoy so much (although going through a bit of a lull recently).

Incompetence

You know what I've figured out that I can't do very well? Tie my shoes! Without double-knotting mine always come untied. How did I not master such a basic skill? Maybe my 7-yr old nephew will be able to give me some pointers over Christmas.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Kobe: even more of an idiot than Terrell Owens

Even though I have already ranted about this twice at work, I just can't contain myself from mentioning it here as well. Can you believe the crap Kobe is pulling on Karl Malone? Apparently Malone said something inappropriate to Kobe's wife. Kobe is all in a huff and of course runs off to the media about it like a little boy. A) This is something that should have been handled privately and that should have been the end of it. My understanding is that Malone intended no offense, but apologized to Kobe anyway. So....let it go. There's no reason for the press to be involved. B) If you're so interested in defending you're wife's honor, you might have a little more credibility IF YOU HAD THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE YOU HAD SEX WITH ANOTHER WOMAN! WHO CLAIMS YOU RAPED HER!

Ok, I found a story that listed out exactly what Kobe is accusing Malone of saying. And, it is offensive. Of course, Malone denies it. Even if true, I think the two points above still hold, and Kobe should just have continued on his business without hanging out with Malone anymore, after their private confrontation. I'm still shocked at the idea that this needed to be taken to the press. I think it just proves that if you give an 18 yr. old millions of dollars, he never learns how to deal with people at anything more than an infantile level. In fact that's basically what Kobe is in every aspect of his life: a giant infant. What player will ever want to play with him in the future? He's alienated every good player (and Rick Fox too) that's ever been on the same team with him.

As if I didn't already have plenty of reasons to hate the Lakers!

Sunday, December 12, 2004

Scene It?

Got back just a little while ago from a party at my old roommate's house. We had a great time eating enchiladas and closed out by playing the new game Scene It? I didn't have high hopes for it, because I didn't see a lot of movies growing up, but my team managed to win, aided by several highly energetic answers from my wife. She got so excited when she knew a "Back to the Future" question that she leaped forward about three feet off the couch as she shouted out the answer. Good times.

Friday, December 10, 2004

Just trying to help.

For those of you with kids, you will probably find this song quite helpful.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

What a week

1) I started off by breaking my glasses frames last week. While cleaning them. And they broke in such a way that I can't really repair them. Not even if I just wanted to nerd it up with tape. This wouldn't be really a big deal, as I can just wear my contacts, but my eyes get really dry by the end of spending the whole day working on a computer. Plus it really hampers the bedtime reading after I've taken the contacts out.

2) Playing racquetball last Thursday, I somehow injured my foot. It has really been hurting to put any pressure at all on the metarsals on the right side of my right foot. This gives me two options for limping, one that looks like a pimp walk, and one where I look drunkenly uncertain of where I am going. This proved to be quite a hassle while carting myself through the Denver and Dallas airports. Thankfully it is finally starting to feel better today, and I was actually able to do some normal walking. Wearing shoes, walking on carpet, or anything with padding seems to make a big difference in the pain level. I could probably fit a couple of the possibilities on here. Isn't the web great for aiding hypochondria?

3) I was supposed to fly back from the big D last night. I left the HP site 2.5 hrs before my flight's scheduled departure, then promptly got trapped in a huge traffic jam on 635, apparently caused by an accident to a fuel tanker. It took me roughly 2 hours to go a mile, so I ended up being near the airport at about the time my flight departed. I had to do a lot of frantic dialing on my cell to reschedule flights, hotel, and rental car. Exhausting. Plus I just hate traffic in general. So I ended up getting the 7 AM flight out of Dallas this morning instead, which meant I had to get up a little after 4. I wasn't able to get to sleep until about 12:30, so that didn't make for a very happy day today.

Sunday, December 05, 2004

Inner geek

Bowing to my inner geek, I stayed up until quarter til 3 tonight to get the new expandable links section working on the right side of my blog. My collection of links was getting too long, so I figured this would be a good way to get everything I want on there without it taking up way too much space. Comments are welcome!

Oh yeah, props to this site for helping me figure out how to do this. This is the page I actually ripped the source from and modified to do it.

Friday, December 03, 2004

Join the craze that's sweeping the nation

Represent your country/state at geographyolympics.com. Everyone at the office is into this now. It's not as easy as you might think, even if you consider yourself a geography expert. There's lots of little tiny countries! My first try I got only 4 out of 10 (other first time scores by various coworkers - 4,2,2,1) But with a little studying, I have now achieved one perfect 10 out of 10, as well as some 9s and 8s. I'm bringing the US score up. Not to mention California. It was mired at 50th place out of 51 states (counting D.C) when I started a few days ago. I believe it has now moved up to 48th (I haven't checked yet today). For those of a political bent, count the red vs blue states in the top 10.

Don't bring the U.S. score down. Study here first. This is actually probably a great tool for kids learning geography. I went on this site and worked through the continents until I could do them with no mistakes. Now my only weakness at geographyolympics is the Pacific Islands, because this site doesn't have those on there to study.

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Life in the box

Check out this post from eWeaver's blog for the latest shenanigans involving his cubicle. This made me realize it would only be fitting to also display the even better pranks pulled involving his cube.



eWeaver cube 2003 Posted by Hello

For a couple of years we had about double the number of cubes that our team had people, due to the fact that instead of our team expanding as planned, we ended up having people get laid off. By 2003, the empty cubes had accumulated tons of trash. Eventually we were required to compress our cubes down to the same number as our team size. This coincided with the same time Mr. Weaver went on vacation. Where should all the trash go? Hmm..... As an extra nice touch, it was his birthday on the day he got back to find this waiting for him!



eWeaver cube 2004 Posted by Hello

The next year we got even more creative. This might not appear so at first glance, but this was actually a lot more work. We changed the level of the desk all around his cube. The highlight was when he returned and actually worked a couple of days at the raised up computers, via sitting on his chair which was set on top of a box. You could see him and his computer sticking up out of the cube all the way across the building. Hilarious, but probably too much work to ever try this again.

We don't have a picture of this one, but I also came into work one day to find my entire cubicle moved down into the cube next to mine (empty at the time). I defeated this evil prank by leaving everything there for six months and just working as if that were my cubicle.

A tip to avoid having this sort of thing pulled on you is to return early from your vacations. When I went on my honeymoon earlier this year, I had originally thought I would get back to work on a Tuesday but ended up coming in on Monday instead. They were only just getting geared up to demolish my cube, which I was able to prevent. I laugh.